Katherine Hayton | Water
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12 Mar / Water

There is a minor battle raging around the pages of some online publications at the moment. All about the results of a study into the healing powers of water.

Water. I mean I ask you, do you really need to do research into it?

Obviously it’s got healing powers. It cures thirst without question. It’s also pretty good at making little greeblies fall off your skin.

Well, not quite so good at that, otherwise they wouldn’t have invented that sterilisation stuff, but better than nothing. Soap just doesn’t work without it.

Why, at this very moment water is something that my main character is desperate to get her hands onto. And then get from her hands into her mouth. A few days without it will do that to a person.

Did you know you wouldn’t even be able to make Coke Zero without water? I mean, I’d die!

But apparently this isn’t your garden variety form of water they’ve been testing.

It’s magic water.

If you test it against your garden variety water it appears exactly the same, but you can charge money for it. If you charge enough money then the ailing human purchasing it will feel better, all by themselves.

This means they don’t have to spend all their money on medicine, instead.

Of course, it doesn’t work every time. In fact, the point of the research was that you could substitute anything for the magic water in question – even tap water for instance – and you would get the same result.

Come to think of it, I remember purchasing tap water for an exorbitant sum in Italy. If I’d known the true powers of doing this, I would have felt better instantly. Instead, I just grumbled and ate a pizza. At least my hunger was cured. Maybe that was the water at work?

Now, some people who make a living out of selling expensive water are upset because apparently you can’t perform double blind studies on their water. Their water is so special that performing this type of standard test on their not-medicine can’t possibly give you accurate results like it does with real medicine.

Instead, you have to rely on something known as anecdotes. I didn’t know that when you gathered a few people’s anecdotes together they formed data, I thought they formed small talk, but apparently they do.

I’d certainly trust the word of complete strangers with unknown education and life experience over the word of that Doctor with the high-falluting education who writes prescriptions for government funded medication. What does she know?

By Katherine Hayton in Katherine Hayton's Blog

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