Katherine Hayton | Rain check
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22 Feb / Rain check

This morning I woke up to the last morning of my holiday, and discovered to my delight that it was raining.

I was delighted because me and my darling have been very good this holiday, and have been going for a lot of long walks up steep hills most mornings.

Due to this the following parts of my body now hurt each morning:
Ankles
Knees
Buttocks
Lower Back
Ribs (and no, I don’t know what they’re doing when I’m walking either, but they do hurt so I presume they’re involved somehow)
Upper Arms (ditto)
Neck

I’ve also had a headache, but I have a feeling that’s a reactionary thing trying to ward off further damage by making me too unwell to go in the first place. Certainly, once I’ve got in the car it recognises defeat and immediately dissipates.

I’ve somehow managed to hide the crippling effects, because when my darling said, ‘It’s too wet to go for a walk,’ I immediately replied ‘Thank goodness.’

So emphatic was my response that further inquiries were necessitated and I explained I’d been in a certain amount of pain almost constantly for the best part of five days. My darling did point out that I could always say no, but I pointed out that in that case he would win and we can’t have that.

And before you ask, if you don’t know why he would win then you don’t understand spousal-like relationships and I can’t tell you. And yes that is the relationship advice version of “if you don’t know what you’ve done wrong then I can’t tell you.”

So I’ve had a nice day lolling on the couch, thinking of things to do, and then thinking of extravagant excuses for why I won’t do them. And watching Watership Down for the first time since I was eight and got upset at the fight between Bigwig and General Woundwort despite having already read the book and knowing perfectly well how it ended.

Then at two o-clock I said ‘Oh look, the sun’s coming out,’ to which my darling responded, ‘Yes, I thought we could go for a nice walk once this ended,’ (referring to the episode of The West Wing we were watching).

And you know what? I could hardly say no then, could I?

So we went for a “lovely walk” and now I can barely move because of the checklist shown above.

I am so glad that I’m going back to work tomorrow. We don’t hold with long walks in my office. Sitting is all the rage.

By Katherine Hayton in Katherine Hayton's Blog

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