Katherine Hayton | Food surprises!
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25 Jan / Food surprises!

Tomorrow is Monday, and we all know what that means. I’m going on a diet!

I’m trying to be all enthusiastic about it today, because by the time morning tea rolls around tomorrow it will be well gone.

The fun part about dieting seems to be heavily weighted towards before the diet starts, and there’s precious little entertainment to be gotten from it until the petering out later on (in the day, the week, or the month if I’m lucky.)

INSERT: I just realised there was a pun in there. I love puns.

Today I got to weigh some food into little parcels; work out portions of fat, carb and protein restriction for the rest of the week; type in the exact – exact – nutritional information from the food labels; balance it all out into a diet I’m fairly unlikely to follow on my phone using the lovely free app from Fat Secret; and then I ate because I started to feel some food insecurity.

Today’s the day I also got to eat up all of the food in the cupboard that won’t be allowed on the diet. Most of it admittedly I’d bought from the supermarket yesterday, but it still had to go.

I gave up on the three-quarters of a loaf of bread and had to stick it into the freezer. I can hear it mocking me now. By tomorrow it’ll be teasing me. It’ll be saying how much it would love for me to pull it from its frozen confines and stick it into a machine and then light up the element wires on either side until it’s flesh it a lovely golden brown, with the leading edge just tipping over slightly into dark brown.

And just because I haven’t managed to resist in years months past doesn’t mean I have to give into it this week.

Sure, it’s a good indicator, but it’s not set in stone. I might get ill. I might go off food. I might fly across the sky oinking all the way.

Oh, and the reason the blog was called food surprises is SURPRISE! There’s no food.

To go off on a completely different tangent, tonight my book has launched at an rather stupid and ungodly hour on Amazon. If it really has. They’ve told me it has, but in my country at least it’s still showing pre-order even though the pre-orders previously pre-ordered have now shown up as sales. I don’t know, it’s the first time for me too.

Just thought I also ought to mention:

Yeah, I know it’s on the side there too, but this is a just-in-case. You should believe the hype and check it out yourself right now on Amazon. Go on, Mummy needs a new pair of (flat) shoes.

By Katherine Hayton in Katherine Hayton's Blog

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