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05 Dec / Buzz buzz buzz

Complicated social arrangements were happening all around me today. Bargains to get rides home from sober partners, and early starts for people who most definitely don’t care about getting any worms ever, but were prepared to sacrifice their sleep-ins for the chance to relax with a few bottles glasses of wine.

I am the most useless of all things in these situations. I don’t drink – which would be a great boon to all the drinkers in the team except that – I don’t drive.

I get threatened with driving lessons more often these days than in days of yore. The frequency of mentions multiplied by the number of drinks the government has just reduced the limit by.

Well, that ain’t happening any time soon peeps so ’bout time y’all moved on.

There was also some social manoeuvering between me and my darling. I had my work do at number twelve and he had his at number two and so it seemed stupid not to co-ordinate the trek homewards.

My work do started at two o’clock and his started at… five o’clock?

Well that was okay as long as he didn’t want to hang around more than a few minutes at his one. It seemed fair. He thought it seemed fairer, since he was the one driving, if he determined what time he would leave and I could stay on until then or bus.

Fair point.

In order to give and receive messages we were both taking our mobile phones. This mayn’t seem like such a big thing to you, but to my darling it took a lot of effort and organisation and testing of whether his phone was still working and whether he’d be able to feel it vibrate when it did ring.

I stuck mine in my bra. There’s a sad shortage of pockets on most women’s blouses.

Over the past few weeks you may or may not have noticed that I have a blog tour underway. This means that there are usually tweets going out about me from the blog tour organiser, a few PR retweeters, the blog hosts themselves sometimes, my own account, and anybody who feels the need to retweet when they stumble across any of these messages. On average there are about six tweets going out each hour with my username attached in some way.

I didn’t realise it until today, but when my phone is on and someone tweets something with my username in it, my phone vibrates. It’s a big phone – if you’ve seen the Samsung Galaxy 5 you know what I mean – and there isn’t a lot of room inside a bra. It was sitting snugly against the side of my breast. And part of the front.

So I was sitting at a table with my peers and my manager and her manager, and people started to tweet about me.

You know, there’s a high level of satisfaction and happiness when you see your own name being thrown haphazardly around the twitterverse. It brings a lot of pleasure.

But not as much pleasure as a large phone vibrating inside your bra.

And the last spot of the week goes to the lovely blog of Unabridged Andra. It’s up there right now so just click on the link – go on, click on it – and you can be reading it instead of THE END.

By Katherine Hayton in Katherine Hayton's Blog

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